Samantha Taylor 

hanging by a hair

What do you do when you are hanging by a hair
Do you go up high or do you fall down there
Do you give up and let the threads loose
Do you continue to run after the train
Do you sit watching in the pouring rain
So what is it you need to do?
Why in the hell do you sit and let things go?
Do you let go and let your juices flow?
Why is it things go as they do?
What in the world can an autistic do?

Well?

What in the world do we want out of life? What do we believe about life? Simple, we go by a code of ethics, please at least some of us hopefully, the rest of us roam freely and do what the hell they please. That's what some might do. Where does God place us and how do we deal with slight annoyancess throughout the day, how do we deal with criticism? We are only human and we deal the way a human being would deal with it. Is it okay for big brother to watch? Of course, we have our blunders or blinders, does that make us a bad person? No I say! Some of us might be thought to be some of Satan's happy little flying monkeys ready to give a wedgy to the next guy that wears his tie to the side or wearing pink. My Desktop is pink, I better look behind there's probably one ready to tear my last pair and they are old .

Today

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I guess today I woke up and my eyes started bothering me, tears were just flooding out of my eyes. I guess it's the (*) thing I hope they can well me soon. Or I can well myself, well I know that I am not going to do it by sitting on my ( |/ ). Didn't I tell you I was 250. I got to do a wake up call on my weight. Tonight I ate 8 keebler cookies with m&ms I ate two toasts with fig preserves on it and butter pecan ice cream and a roast beef sandwich for lunch. You have got to help me or me help myself. I used to be pretty cute, but since I gained weight I look awful. I wish I could wiggle my nose and the weight come off but I know that that aint going to happen, thank you for listening to my craziness. I hope you too can lose weight

Looking for an older model laptop

Hi How are you, I have posted wanted, needs that are temporary. I have been wanting an older model laptop to read the bible and take notes on. It's so much easier and less stressful to journal and read the bible under one screen and I would so appreciate it if I had one. This morning I am trying to stay away from the television too much because I realize Al Roker loves me too much. Anyway lots of blessings have a nice day. :)

Grandma in a bottle? Or Genie, you be the judge

Of all the weird titles one can find on the internet, this one has to be the weirdest am I right. Right now, I feel like granny and genie, I am in a fat shell that I need to get out of. I don't feel attractive even though I know that I can be, I don't feel young eventhough I am still thirty for the time being, I dont feel good and I need to, and I thought Antidepressants would do the right job, but they won't unless I do something currently. My pops isn't feeling well so I am doing a silent scream, my emotional age is 18, it's about the time I had a nervous breakdown and I take too much of dear old fathers advice that's why I am stuck at home with dad. I am a psycho path. :D but I am a super nice but grungy psycho. I love alot of things that one young at heart with polident would like. :D ding! Anyway goodnight, just took a happy little capsule so maybe I can unwind luv yas. :)

Dieting

I remember back in my highschool days that I dieted on the 1000 calorie diet and lost all of my weight. Anyway, yesterday I decided to get that diet again to lose some pounds. I am not proud to say that I had gotten up to 250. I battle 220 to 250 all the time and I go up and down like a yo-you. When I was younger, I walked at least a mile a day with my father and mother. We all lost weight on that diet. Anyway, I was looking to start again at lunch time. I had two hotdogs with nothing but ketchup and mustard mind you and 1 cookie. My mom looked funny at me and then gave me a honey bun, then I went and got my uncle some chocolate chip cookies with m and m's in them and I got alot of them. That's no way to diet. I really bad want to lose weight. I cant lose weight that way. I am almost out of my medicine. I hope that I can lose weight on these anti depressants that I am taking. I am not happy at my current moment, but I know that I will be happy soon, because of all that's going on, there are so many things that's going to change the world. Praise God for changing.

Alot of things have have changed

It's been so long since I have written on this blog, it's just amazing how much has changed and how much I have changed internally and externally. I have gained so much weight that it's ridiculous. It's amazing how some people who have known one all their lives. Then turn around when they hear internal mess and then hello you are a pathetic freak. That's not everyone, through my experience, things are going to change in the face of cancer, autism, slight retardation and so many things. I have the respect of the president of the united states who is a man of honor and mrs. Laura bush. I am so proud of myself in that respect that things are going to be different with lupus, autism and other things. This is going to revolutionize life as we know it. I am not pathetic, I am very proud to be an american and to have this technology withing me.
I wish I could personally meet all those who have raised money for me. I wish that I could meet stars. While I am tucked away in my little trailer home, I get out and I realize what an amazing support network I have. I want to go out and get a job but I am so weak physically I don't think I could possibly pull it off. I am also so overweight, so naturally big busted that my lower back feels like it's going to break into. This may sound funny but it's not believe me.
I am going to definitely try to stay positive. Wait a minute I am going to stay positive.There is alot of good in the world and we need to accentuate that, not with pearls, but through peace. I love you all keep rooting for me and keep praying!


Samantha

Three Days Three headaches

It was friday when I had a headache. Tried to clean ye old aunt's house, couldn't do it, so I tried to clean house before we get cable. My mom's a really sweet lady, she's hilarious at times, but I think it's sweet that she wanted something for my uncle considering he drives her insane. Both of them together are harendous. You want to put into words how it makes one feel.
I have been liking taking a shower lately, gee I don't know why, it's not like the whole world isn't watching me take a bath. Samantha takes a shower while William shatner writes poetry about her experience. BTW that's premium stuff. I love william shatner. Anyway I had a terrible headache again Saturday. I took in an asprin sunday as well. two 325mg apiece. Im not ready for another since today I had a slight one compared to yesterdays. I realize that I need to take a multi-vitamin seeing that my nails, hair and etc. Im taking chromium picolinate, I drink green tea for breakfast, and I take omega3 fish tablets along with twenty mil of lexapro and 120 geadone during the day. Hey the anti-depressants are helping. I have seen life more lighter, but I have my pet peeves still...hmm.....we will adjourn now. I am ready for those tarzan congeniality classes Oh! please......

Loving siblings and more.

Just wanted to say I love my siblings very much and I appreciate everything they have done for me and this family. It's time I should grow up just as my korean friend Oh says years ago when I wasn't very sure of myself. I have to say, I hope that I can meet the president and more when this is over and this thing is over.
I have been good for several days now. I have a positive outlook on all things being possible. I want to take some courses at the community college, start a job, and so many things. Every since this thing started, I kind of had a hint that I didn't have that long to live, 6 months to live? It's a year now.
I would like to thank the koreans for the efforts they have put into this surgery and the love that I have for every single person who have cheered me on. I am hoping for all different kinds of things.I just want to say all things are possible if you look on the bright side and continue to have a positive outlook. I am fortunate to have Al, Matt, Lester, Natlalie and more.
Developmentally Delayed I want to say isn't retarded. It's a whole other thing, and there's something special in that egg that gets cracked.
I just want to tell Oh, my siblings, and friends worldwide, that I love you and keep up the praying, it's helpful. Keep up the lights, it keeps me to have a positive outlook. God bless you, thank you for all yourlights, smiles, and comments. Thank you again, and the korean doctors behind the technology and so much.

Be a individual

I have looked at how many things that it's impossible to do fifty diferent things at one time. I want so much to see the world behind the glass on my television, It is refreshing to see all the nations that are helping iraq to be a free nation. There are so many things one can do but sit and stand all day. I am wondering. Some things that happen within the body are different from younger ages when you aren't 30. What do we focus on? Life is more than dreary, why not enjoy life? I thank all who have helped me. If life should be sound and comfortable, fear needs to be out of the picture. Fear is no good