depression 

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thank you again for all your encouragement and the cool messages. :) thank you.

I was 17 when I first became a father, husband and provider. I was married on Valentine's Day, February 14, 1974 and she was already 6 months into term. I joined the army with my mother's permission in March, trying to fulfill my obligation as all those things I just mentioned and as a man. I had this glorious vision of things. Things didn’t go well. The army didn’t pay a lot and there were nights when we ate fried potatoes as a main dish. There were nights when we had nothing at all. We had a baby boy who was born on Mother’s Day, May 12 of that year. He never asked for our problems but he got them anyway. Things didn’t improve and as our situation got worse, so did my life in the army. One thing led to another and it happened that on the 8th day of August, 1974, we decided to get a divorce. The army didn’t like it that I was so distracted so they began proceedings to either send me overseas or discharge me. It was eventually agreed that we would surrender the baby boy to adoption. The last day I ever saw him was August 8, 1974. After the separation and divorce, I wandered in both the physical and emotional sense for almost exactly 10 years. I was a wreck. I was a mess. I had lost my wife, my son and my life. I was a failure. In 1985, I finally remarried and began my life again. I had used those 10 years to educate myself, regain my self-esteem and find a purpose. And though that second marriage eventually ended in a divorce, I have no regrets. I know who I am now. I know where my path lies and I know that no matter what life brings my way, I will win because, you see, I’ve already died… and was reborn. There is nothing and no one who can beat you unless you let them. There is no mountain that you cannot climb, no valley so low that you cannot cross it. You have the key, you have the answer. Just look within and let the fire of your heart guide you.

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