means of torture

Do ever feel like you are being tortured, but it's forcing you out of something? :) Regardless how bad things may seem, maybe there is a new day. One thing that's wrong with me is the fact that i am so pessimistic that i lose site of things, it's like this see-saw cycle. I am up and down, when cant someone just throw me into the air and let me fly. It would be better than going up and down.