Things
I right now let go of everything that's been bothering me. I don't know how to express letting go , it's something a dna trait that my mother has, and etc. Sometimes i have to just let go of things, let things that continue to eat away at me be released. Last night I released alot of things. I am terribly unaware of things. I know somehow in their own way people are trying to help me. Maybe i need some sort of information in order to help myself. Information that could give me some insight to the problems that i have and what i need to do about it.
I thought that I was getting somewhere, but I guess like i said last night, the world is a crazy place and yes i am crazy, but there are other things that are crazy too, like the fact of prayer, do i feel crazy for praying? doing reiki? no but maybe other people think that's insane and it does no good and maybe it's not right in their eyes. I have used it for a few months now and up to level 3 there's no right or wrong way to use it. but if you will look on christianreiki.com you will learn that other christians use it as well.
:) I am not using it for evil retarded purposes. I just want a better head. better life. People believe differently, and act differently from those who are around them. People pick up characteristics from others ideas from others. Like the other day when i went to the consignment shop with my artwork, i learned what i had done was called outsider folk art, i wanted to learn more about it so when i went looking on those sites on the internet, i realized that there were others that were having their work online too and it is in the same classification, i thought it was fauvism for awhile, but found that's actually southern outsider folk art. Perhaps someone else can think differently.
Critism. How do you deal with it? How do you keep others f rom blowing what you feel about yourself? I haven't figured it out. I know i have been through things. :( but when someone who doesn't like the way they look will throw you up against the wall and beat you to death if you don't realize that they aren't beautiful themselves and what they are saying about you and the way you look dont really count. I guess the only person that should be of judgement is God. God created every strand of our hair, our dna and our makeup. What we do to ourselves and let those around us do to us can make us feel inferior and ugly. When in anyone else's mind we aren't. Here's a senerio.
If a devil were to go into a church, everyone dressed nicely, and a bum from off the street were present, he were to bring up everything everyone had ever done in their lifetime, the bum would be without the fault of those who are hiding behind nice clothes and fixed hair and nails. If you actually took the time to get to know a filthy bum you might think he's a lovely person on the inside. Have you ever heard the words to phil collins song "paradise" Says about the same thing.
We can go through our life making huge mistakes, one after the other, the blunder, the aggrevation, the insanity, the filth, tumult, realizing something goods in the world, When I said before about born gifted I mean some people can speak, other people cant talk, the way u use your mouth is how others percieve you. we all embarrass oursevlves, some or just so totally embarrassed with themselves, they keep silent and their appearance makes people think they are something that they are not. Maybe I should speak up more often I speak to those who are closest to me.
Another thing, everyone's concerned about their security. Everyone can worry, worry, worry and worry til they are blue in the face. I am still worrying but feel as if worry is fading away. Maybe i am still worried i don't know. Theres something that remains true though,
Each of us have a personal obligation to do the best we can, when we do that we are safe, but when we don't we only cheat ourselves. Those who hurt other people have to face what they had done on judgement day, if you read the bible,and things around you then you realize that life is just for so long and when people go out of their way, everyone knows about it in the end. Maybe i am totally clueless, maybe i do know what i am saying.
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