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I cannot tell this one with a smile on your face, when you are in a dark house, when you are so uncertain about others attitudes and etc. I froze all night, I tried to stay warm in bed. but I just couldn't do it. My mother is the authority over the gas heater. My uncle is down the hall and the other end of the house, I'm cold, and everyone else in the home is cold. If I make an objective to go try to sleep in the living room on a small blue couch. It's funny to so forth and so home to that stupid verbal abusing, "If you don't quit talking about the heat I am just going to kill myself. I am that skanky woman that the whole neighborhood and beyond talk about and yes I am very fragile to the circumstance. I am the one put on television, internet, news, and etc. Maybe I should get that I don't care about what she says attitude. She will walk right into your door saying "are you alright?" I ususally don't like to talk that much. I mean it's ridiculous, she fights with my uncle that is moderately retarded and she is mild in retardation, well anyway, they go back and forth all day long fussing and fuming all day while I try so desperately hard to overcoming what problems I Have and I see people out on the road with their lights for me :) I love you and the feeling is ditto. Ditto to all of you out there that are so beautiful of heart. :) thank you
I have my brother to thank for support, and artman and latch who seem to be good as golden these days. Gary and Karen too, and I am so weird feeling I don't know. When you want to take a shower and the hotwater tends to go so cold it's pretty harsh. I manageto do the best of i can do with what little I can do. Cold water, and now, I am going to tell Jesus how much I love him every night, and I will be greatful and any title other than something negative I can get. I bought the copy of Dr. Phil's weight loss challenge, I hope it will come in handy and a few things that the Oprah says, if you get a knawing feeling in my stomach, that's your body fighting fact and a lady at aglow in montgomery said the word in some terms for fat means very stupid those make great positive notions and phrases for your weight loss goal to go so quickly. I hope for weight loss, I am not making it a major moral standing to conquir. I have to tell you this. Don't live life frivolous. God loves you and me too. There are so many people out there that tries the same thing. If your body is out of shape, you just eat healthy and keep worries out of your head because binges are the worst. Don't pay attention or obsess about your weight too much cause if you do, you tend to go for the binging, don't go for food, go for a walk instead to get some creative juices flowing and peaceful thoughts come into affects. I am my own worst enemy.
Lemme tell you what I have been through these 7months, I am on risperdone, my balance is a little terrible, I am 6 inches away from you looking at the computer because the medicine tampers with eyesight. One thing about this old trailer I live in with my parents, heat authority goes to my mother, and I only care about getting warm. I now have to sleep in the living room because my mother wants to keep her menapausal self wants to stay cold.
Anyway I am getting this borderline disorder vibes. I will say something to my mom, she takes it the wrong way. She makes these stupid threats and herr ass is into a tight. My sister tried to tell me oh so long ago.....and Samantha asks herself why...as she always has been. I am autistic, not retarded, and I have passive personality. Let it go, I just have to let it go..... ohhhhhmmmmmmmmm! yes that means that I need you.
Baths....my wall buddies, observe my entire daily routines, anyway, like I told you I am autistic, and it's very endearing to have wall buddies when certain things go on. My cousin was getting rid of her oldsmobile. Since that time, she laughs because the car would be mostly for me to drive and do whatever else, job, college. goodwill ambassator....anyway, anyway, everyone says she's jealous of me. Why be jealous? What is there to be jealous of, I learned now :) I am not retarded just autistic, which makes me feel wonderful. I understand I am in a non-conventional enviroment. Which isn't
a cup of tea. Especially with bath tactics. I am sorry, but I am not going to freeze my ass off in a cold house. When it's cold outside and inside a home. okay old rusty shack of an old house. I was thinking of one of these old trailors people want to get rid of, and if there is any old trailers that you have, I would love to have it. I hate begging, it's time to get out of the fetal stance and time to make a difference in my life. I have been praying psalms 4 which is a evening prayer for help. I like the words to it. and there is another one psalms 37 for you know talking to public. I got a few little tasks that I need to do. I appreciate all you done for me. Especially the neighbors, candace's across the woods,
the kind people who show their love. I pray when all is over soon, broadcasting network stations are just make me feel better, even the president..
My words about the president...you are not a selfish man i have seen so much good in you through
out these years that you have been in office. What i most respect about you is that you speak to the small people...I hope some recognition from your office that can be shown as well as the democrat party, they have great ideas, as well as independants, so keep that .....Oh what the heck God bless you and I hope the easterbunny would bring me a not so expensive trailer with all proper working things. I hope that I am not being too "selfish" anyway. I could help myself. Thank you Mr,. Bush thank you. BTW let there be a few austere in there fully equipped with you know..all those good things, After all is done, I want a house, moderately small on Lake Martin, I can see it now, meditation sitting near the shore and enjoying the peace and quiet, feeling likea million dollars. Thank you Mr. Bush if you could do this for me. I still want that position as good will ambassator. Thank you Bush Love you .
If you have some prayer requests, well I got some too....ortaga, and people within my home, and those who seemed to get hung in my head for years and couldn't quite reach in and pull the hyundai out. Now it is alright other companies, you can't take the tarp out yet. LOL the Lord blessed me with recognition of being a human being. Those thoughts about are beautiful and just sitting in the sun and having it to sparkle on this lake, it would make me feel wonderful. Btw TED I love you too, keep bringing on new ideas and running it to the republican party, and quit showing the red panties on your face and open your eyes. We are allways blessed in your presence. Thank you everyone. Loveyou all. You can wire my taps anytime, you see how I live and I imagine I am blinded to somethings. Anyway love you ed and ted.